Some of the things I saw today are things that no human
should have to learn about, let alone actually live through. The fact that people did makes it almost
unreal to me! Walking though
concentration camps brought this unbelievable history to life. Today I went to Auschwitz. There are so many things going through my
head right now, but I cannot seem to find the words to explain any of it. It seems like yesterday I was sitting in the
C.A.N.D.L.E.S. Museum listening to Eva Corr tell us her life story. Never did I dream that I would be visiting
Auschwitz just 6 years later. I remember
her story sounding more like a nightmare than a little girl’s memories from so
long ago. I remember myself having no
way to grasp the pain and suffering she has dealt with her entire life. After visiting Auschwitz, I still cannot say
that I have the slightest understanding of the horror she spoke of, but it
definitely brought the scene to life.
I was not as emotional as I imagined myself to be. I did not really feel anything to be honest. I was standing in the middle of a “death factory” and I felt numb to everything. The camp was arranged so that the exhibits were located throughout the blocks, or buildings where the prisoners lived. The guide led us around the camp, explaining the history of the holocaust. I already knew much of the information she shared with us, but I also learned a lot of things that the history books never mention. Some of the stuff that the S.S. did to innocent people was so graphic that Satan himself must have had a hand in it, because I cannot imagine a human with such a cold heart.
Piles and piles of personal belongings that were left behind by the people are displayed in one of the blocks. This was one of the hardest things to see. Suitcases, shoes, eye glasses, clothes, prosthetics, and even hair were on display in huge piles behind exhibit windows. This gave a little greater perspective on the amount of people killed. Another tough thing to see was prison cells in the basement of one of the blocks. In this location they kept prisoners for punishment and experimentation. Cells line the walls; some are even standing cells in dark rooms. It was just really creepy down there. Next to this block is the death wall where several thousands of people were killed as punishment. I have never had a feeling like I did as I approached the wall. My legs physically did not want to move closer. Immediately after visiting that, as if it was not enough, we walked inside the gas chambers. That was my breaking point. I wanted out of that place, and I wanted out as quickly as possible! Thankfully that was the last stop on the tour.
I have only begun to explain my experiences at Auschwitz, but to be honest; I do not want to remember any more! It is an experience I think everyone needs to have, but never will I go back! The overall feeling of being hopeless and helpless lingers throughout the entire grounds, still left over from its history. Looking back, I think this is what got to me the most, imagining how helpless they must have felt, with me standing in the midst of it all. I had a similar, but completely different sense of helplessness.
This is just another experience on this World Tour that makes me feel grateful for even the smallest blessings in my life. It also makes me realize how much the world needs God. I cannot help but think of the absence of him in these camps. I just do not understand!
On a much, much lighter note, after we finally left Auschwitz we got to visit a famous salt mine just outside of Krakow. It was pretty cool, especially because it was different than anything else we have seen on the trip so far. Hundreds of feet below ground is a massive network of pathways and quarries from salt-mining beginning hundreds of years ago. It was very unique to say the least. To end the rather depressing day, we got to take an overnight train to Budapest, Hungary. We walked on the train and I immediately knew how terrible my night was about to be. Six people are assigned to a bunk about 25 square feet in size. Bunks three high exist on both sides with a one foot wide pathway. Yep! It was almost impossible for me to get up in my bed, let alone sleep in it! So, tonight I will be sleeping on my luggage in clothes that I wore today because there is simply no room to even get my suitcase open. Just when I start to get annoyed by something, I must remember to always put my life in perspective because it could be so much worse!
I was not as emotional as I imagined myself to be. I did not really feel anything to be honest. I was standing in the middle of a “death factory” and I felt numb to everything. The camp was arranged so that the exhibits were located throughout the blocks, or buildings where the prisoners lived. The guide led us around the camp, explaining the history of the holocaust. I already knew much of the information she shared with us, but I also learned a lot of things that the history books never mention. Some of the stuff that the S.S. did to innocent people was so graphic that Satan himself must have had a hand in it, because I cannot imagine a human with such a cold heart.
Piles and piles of personal belongings that were left behind by the people are displayed in one of the blocks. This was one of the hardest things to see. Suitcases, shoes, eye glasses, clothes, prosthetics, and even hair were on display in huge piles behind exhibit windows. This gave a little greater perspective on the amount of people killed. Another tough thing to see was prison cells in the basement of one of the blocks. In this location they kept prisoners for punishment and experimentation. Cells line the walls; some are even standing cells in dark rooms. It was just really creepy down there. Next to this block is the death wall where several thousands of people were killed as punishment. I have never had a feeling like I did as I approached the wall. My legs physically did not want to move closer. Immediately after visiting that, as if it was not enough, we walked inside the gas chambers. That was my breaking point. I wanted out of that place, and I wanted out as quickly as possible! Thankfully that was the last stop on the tour.
I have only begun to explain my experiences at Auschwitz, but to be honest; I do not want to remember any more! It is an experience I think everyone needs to have, but never will I go back! The overall feeling of being hopeless and helpless lingers throughout the entire grounds, still left over from its history. Looking back, I think this is what got to me the most, imagining how helpless they must have felt, with me standing in the midst of it all. I had a similar, but completely different sense of helplessness.
This is just another experience on this World Tour that makes me feel grateful for even the smallest blessings in my life. It also makes me realize how much the world needs God. I cannot help but think of the absence of him in these camps. I just do not understand!
On a much, much lighter note, after we finally left Auschwitz we got to visit a famous salt mine just outside of Krakow. It was pretty cool, especially because it was different than anything else we have seen on the trip so far. Hundreds of feet below ground is a massive network of pathways and quarries from salt-mining beginning hundreds of years ago. It was very unique to say the least. To end the rather depressing day, we got to take an overnight train to Budapest, Hungary. We walked on the train and I immediately knew how terrible my night was about to be. Six people are assigned to a bunk about 25 square feet in size. Bunks three high exist on both sides with a one foot wide pathway. Yep! It was almost impossible for me to get up in my bed, let alone sleep in it! So, tonight I will be sleeping on my luggage in clothes that I wore today because there is simply no room to even get my suitcase open. Just when I start to get annoyed by something, I must remember to always put my life in perspective because it could be so much worse!
I keep forgetting that you have a blog. :( I've enjoyed catching up on it today!
ReplyDeleteAuschwitz--Did you take any pictures, or did I miss them? Honestly, its hard to imagine the horrific things that happened there. Seeing where they actually happened would be difficult to handle emotionally.
Dana
I am glad you have enjoyed it! :)
ReplyDeleteI took some photos of Auschwitz but I did not post them on Facebook. I am happy to share them with you though if you are interested.